c'mon in ya'll, make yourself comfy - here let me get my sticky-mags outta the way! HA! - watch out for the spew! - oh GOD, ya sat right innit!

for those of you who wanna know, I AM the brains behind the Ed Gein Fan Club - no matter what that stinky says! I was born in a dirt-floor shack in the mountains of Montana but i've done well in the big city here with all you city slickers. i'm the silent one - and the prettiest, too, no matter how fancy 316's suit coats are. actually, none of this is true (except for the dirt floor and me being the silent type.) i play the drums so that i won't beat up people. actually, i play the drums because ollie or 316 cannot. okay, that's not exactly true; ollie can beat the skins like the best of them - oh, wait, i'm talking about his skin that he beats! HA! i play the drums because i look like a TOTAL nerd when i play the guitar. and i cannot sing. here, cover your ears and click this link so that you can hear me sing for true.

i've known ollie for a long time and he's quite the bastard. no, that's not quite true. but he is bastardly when it comes to his vision, and lucky for him, i share that vision. i won't speak for 316, but he wouldn't stay around and have to deal with yours truly if he didn't.)

i do more that just play drums here. while ollie can sure write the wicked hook, he cannot put them together to save his life, and while 316 has some great musical ideas from time to time, he doesn't have the knack for fancy-ing up the things like i do, so while ollie writes the songs like a motherfucker, i put them together into the gems that they are. ollie even lets me write a few now and again - like the epic 'the end of the beginning.'

i think its a damned shame that we live in a time where punk rock seems to NOT want to offend anyone. this is what i think about that! these pinks go out of their way to be so politically correct. YES I SAID 'PINKS.' punks are mean and nasty, and they LIKE to offend people and shake them up, but 'pinks' - while they may LOOK like punks - are all soft and pretty with their politically correct attitudes and inoffensive actions (unless it's beating up on white males; that's okay because their correction masters tell them that THAT'S okay - just don't offend anyone else!) GOD what a sorry state!

i'll drink beers with pinks, yes, but i will never buy them drinks, because once a pink gets something for free from a punk, they'll expect it forever; because being a pink means that you are also a commie - and commies can only TAKE.

and if'n yer offended by my remarks, that's just too fucking bad. get mad and come to kick my ass? then i'll have to shoot you. be nice and civil and i'll drink with you - but i wont let you crash on my couch.

I'm YERMOM.